Trippy

I have never ever had such a strange waking up experience before.

Side note: Guy That Looks Like Christian Bale is one seat to the left of me on the other side of the island.

And does iTunes read minds when it picks songs? It's played three favorites in a row--like, I bought these three albums (alba?) for one song each, and those are the three iTunes picked. It's Providence, I suppose. Thanks, God.

Anyhow, I woke up at about 6:00 am and had the very distinct impression that I shouldn't/couldn't move. It was odd--sort of like catatonic schizophrenia, i guess. So I sat there for like five minutes in a slightly uncomfortable position, and suddenly decided that I could move if I wanted to. A minute or two later, I wanted to. A minute or two after that, I bothered to.

And then I fell asleep again.

And I had another dream about being chased. It's not [iTunes messed up right here] that "I'm trying to run and can't" sort of dream. It's more of a "Bourne Identity" kind of chased, like I have to be in perpetual motion or the They will catch me. I bet half of the dreams I remember when I wake up are along this train of thought. I should really look it up and pick my brain apart. With tweezers.

[I want one of Mrs. Wagner's pies, so I can walk off to look for America.]

Last night I had a hard time again. My friend Dance Therapist walked me around for a bit and listened and was just generally there for me. It was really nice, because we seemed to share a physical language, just being close and touching. I say that and it sounds sexual, but it wasn't. I've never had a sister, but I'm guessing that's what hugging one would be like. I didn't feel like I had to pull away to avoid social taboo, except for when people walked by. Feeling the calming touch of someone who wasn't my mom helped me on the road to believing that some day I can be happy without Broom Curls, and that was so helpful. I need to feel that I can count on someone to be there for me--not just emotionally, but physically also.

I still need to call Lab Girl. and ask her for a date. It's strange trying to go on dates, because I want to invest myself in it, but somehow I can't. I'm just being socially acceptable, and can't really even make friends. I feel hollow. Should I call her and set up a date and hope that after going on enough dates with enough girls, I'll get into the swing of things and enjoy myself? I guess I'll invite her to this Tootsie thing on Saturday. It's going to involve way too many people to feel funky, and maybe the junk food will work to loosen me up.

If I haven't mentioned Syntax yet, I will now. Poopy, poopy Syntax. Today completely solidified my belief that it makes no sense. Of course, I've noticed that when I have a hard time understanding something, I ridicule it to keep from feeling stupid. But I still think I'm right. =)

So, yesterday I woke up at like 2:00 pm, and there was a package for me. I opened it, saw that it was my Regina Spektor CD, and then fell asleep. Honestly, sometimes I couldn't go out any faster if I was using a tranquilizer gun. I need to exercise more, but every time I go running, I do something wrong, and then I have tendinitis for a week. And yes, that's spelt right. I should probably fix up my bike and start biking. Or maybe I should go swim at the RB. Votes?